you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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