PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
