I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
