This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
