you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
