I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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