dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
