She is in my trunk
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
