Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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