ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
