I love how my cats smell like pot.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
