i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
