Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
