Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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