Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's shark week go big or go home
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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