Your dad touched me again.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
