Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
