Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
God, you're like boner-b-gone
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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