Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
