I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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