I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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