My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
