I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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