You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I will pee on everything he values.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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