you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
