We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
