Too much gin, very little bucket
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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