she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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