wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
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