i need an iv and a liver transplant
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
did i just pee glitter
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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