my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
