not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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