I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
