i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
handjob tips. give me some.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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