i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
