On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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