Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
