is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
accomplished twins. life is a go
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
