i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
