I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
