Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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