No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
