I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
