i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
