so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
