Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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