doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
