so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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