Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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