dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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